Hannah Montana: More obnoxious than death metal
I knew I was stupid for not bringing earplugs. But come on -- I'm a veteran rocker. I saw Van Halen when David Lee had hair, and Def Leppard when they had all their limbs.
Last year, I even saw the death metal band Cannibal Corpse (don't ask) -- all of these shows ear-splittingly loud that left my head ringing for days. Nothing, however, would prepare me for the sonic meltdown of 16,000 shrieking, pre-pubescent girls attending Monday night's Hannah Montana concert at KeyArena.
It wasn't just the noise, though, that my made my head hurt. It was all the painfully conspicuous consumption. The lines to buy $35 t-shirts and $15 posters were 40 people deep from the moment the doors opened until well after the concert ended. (I got dinged for a $20 program.) Outside, I counted no fewer than a dozen full-size limosines, including the obligatory Hummer, each shuttling hoards of 11 year old Disney Channel junkies to their dates with Disney programmed destiny. All this, in addition to the fact that many of the parents had paid hundreds of dollars for a single ticket. Through the din, I swear I could hear Michael Eisener's accountant chuckling.
And it wasn't just the kids doing the consuming. I saw one obviously inebriated dad who apparently thought he was taking his family to an an Ozzy Osbourne show. I must admit I briefly contemplated sneaking a few airplane bottles into the show to soften the noise, but then I remembered how embarrassed I was when my flask got confiscated at the Cheetah Girls concert last year. (I'm kidding, but if they think they're making money off of $35 t-shirts, imagine how many dazed parents would have raided the kids' college funds for one sip of sweet beer.)
Also, am I the only one who noticed that one of Hannah's back-up singers was roughly the age of Barbara Walters? Those giant video screens did her no favors. She looked like a Mickey Mouse Club reject from 30 years ago.
But hey, who am I to judge? All those screaming 10 year olds rocked harder than this old man last night. And I bet none of them have a headache today.
Comments from our readers
Oh, goody. . . goody! The future awaits these budding consumers! I will never feel sorry again for the parents of little girls who are willing to shell out 10 x's the real cost of a ticket to indoctrinate their daughters in vapid idolatry. Way to teach those values, folks!
Posted by: LefthandedArtist | October 30, 2007 11:35 AM
I saw her on Dancing with the Stars w/her dad. I used to think he was soooo neat, but now.....
He or someone else needs to remind her she is only 14 yrs old and be the young lady she is. Someone also needs to take time to teach her and others liker her in the industry morals and values b4 it is really to late.
I'm old enough to be her grandma, and hate to see what I'm seeing happen to our youth.
Posted by: JACKI D. | October 30, 2007 2:02 PM
In addition to protecting morals and values, how about the sanctity of the English written word? “B4” or BEFORE!!!
Posted by: Evander | October 30, 2007 2:48 PM
Hey Vocab Nazi........stick to the forum or start your own seperate one.
Posted by: chacelange@verizon.net | October 30, 2007 3:14 PM
I took my 8 year old daughter to this concert. We laughed, clapped and danced. In our hectic busy world it is okay to enjoy pure entertainment with our childeren. Miley worked very hard to please during the show. The look on my daughters face was priceless. I did not over spend and we saved up for the event. It was something we wanted to do together. She did not ask for anything and did not care if she got a shirt or not. She loved the experience and to be entertained. It is only when we teach excess that our kids expect it. If you treat these events as very special then it will be a memory for them and not another future expectation. Our kids see and hear too much too soon. All I know is there were no exposed midriffs or cleavage in my face. No regrets for having a fun evening with an un-spoiled, lovely child.
Posted by: J | October 30, 2007 3:59 PM
Not unlike when some of us saw the Beatles and Elvis Presley when they came to Seattle. Always a great memory.
Posted by: cl | October 31, 2007 12:22 AM
Just one question? Did she lipsync? I took my daughter to the Spice Girls years ago and was shocked at the lip syncing. I had to explain to her that this is suppose to be a LIVE CONCERT.
Posted by: Lynn | October 31, 2007 1:40 PM
I am in sales and have been for 35 years, I love it, anytime I can get people to spend $35.00 on something that my landed cost was below $4.00 I praise their wastefullness and stupidity for supporting a lip syncing untalented totally marketed person Yee Ha keep on spending folks we love it
Posted by: B | October 31, 2007 4:18 PM
No, she did not lip synch. It's safe to assume she used a vocal "backing track" which is pretty standard with young stars these days. That said, you can question Miss Cyrus's talent (you need look no farther than her gene pool), but you can't question this girl's heart. You can tell that at times she struggles with the vocals and dancing, but she gives 110% on stage.
Posted by: Eric | November 1, 2007 10:05 AM
Well put J! we're all aware of the exorbinant cost of shirts/posters etc at these types of events (lord knows I paid it in my younger days) - but that takes nothing away from a kids face to see someone they truly enjoy. Leave it up to adults to criticize and talk "smack" about something they'd never be caught doing! My 7 year old daughter loves Hannah Montana, I'm indifferent. Compared to a lot of the other young entertainers out there, Hannah comes out on top for me. She's entertaining, a good role model, and she's actually got some talent. So, give it a rest - we were all kids once - we've ALL done this before. Just relax and enjoy and don't sweat the small stuff, really...what does it get you in the end?
Posted by: S | November 1, 2007 2:13 PM
Well put J! we're all aware of the exorbinant cost of shirts/posters etc at these types of events (lord knows I paid it in my younger days) - but that takes nothing away from a kids face to see someone they truly enjoy. Leave it up to adults to criticize and talk "smack" about something they'd never be caught doing! My 7 year old daughter loves Hannah Montana, I'm indifferent. Compared to a lot of the other young entertainers out there, Hannah comes out on top for me. She's entertaining, a good role model, and she's actually got some talent. So, give it a rest - we were all kids once - we've ALL done this before. Just relax and enjoy and don't sweat the small stuff, really...what does it get you in the end?
Posted by: S | November 1, 2007 2:13 PM
That must have been one hell of a concert. I don't know about Eisener's accountant, but Michael Eisner hasn't been with Disney for over two years.
Posted by: ding | November 1, 2007 3:10 PM
Eric, I enjoyed the article, got me to laugh a few times. There is nothing more annoying then thousands of screaming girls in their high pitched voices. trying to sneak in a flask, ha thats great!.
Posted by: Jeremy | November 1, 2007 6:42 PM
Did I say Michael Eisener? I meant Bill Gates, or Steve Jobs. Michael Jordan? Umm...whomever it is that is raking in all the cash at Disney these days. Good catch, ding. My bad. I think I was still giddy with the afterglow of the show when I wrote the blog.
Posted by: Eric | November 1, 2007 6:54 PM
I took my daughter to this concert and I thought it was GREAT! I ultimately enjoyed the crowd. To see my 12 yr old enjoying herself so much, was truly worth the $55 per ticket spent. No I wasn't one of the ones who bought the scalper tix...I waited until the night before the concert & paid retail for them. GREAT seats too! There were sooo many empty seats on the floor, in the lower levels and upper levels...because of you, some tweeny boppers didn't get to see their idol. Shame on you scalpers!
Posted by: Carrie | November 2, 2007 5:52 PM
All this whining over a teeny bobber event. . .
Yet i bet eric feels the Prices, Jerseys for sale, and crowd make up of Sonics Baxkitball games are divine.
Posted by: skok | November 4, 2007 7:25 PM
All this whining over a teeny bobber event. . .
Yet i bet eric feels the Prices, Jerseys for sale, and crowd make up of Sonics Baxkitball games are divine.
Posted by: skok | November 4, 2007 7:26 PM
You know it's funny to me that this guy can go to a concert for young girls(when he is obviously way to old to get it) then talk about bringing in alcohol.. what a goofus. Hannah Montana is one of the few young stars that our girls can look at with out seeing half naked as ok! my daughter is 11 and we watch her together.. Miley Rocks! too bad Eric doesn't. oh and by the way, most of the parents who take their kids to a concert don't want to get drunk while with our kids...
Posted by: mom | December 19, 2007 10:21 AM